Suspense Writing

I nervously ran in the gloomy forest, I felt something slithering across my shoes. The leaves crunched under my shoes. Suddenly I was in the pitch black of the forest. Then I went down a ditch where it was darker. All of the sudden I heard something, I looked around but I did not see anything, slowly I carried on nervously running into the forest. Out of the corner of my eye a hole appeared next to me, I was worried, it was foggy in the hole. I stopped and looked where I should go, when I stopped I took a breath and I carried on running. Without warning I tripped over on to the silky mud – I don’t have anyone with me to help me .

This entry was posted in Year 5, 2016-17 Flamingos. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Suspense Writing

  1. 11jr28 says:

    next time I would put more adjectives in my writing to make it stand out and be more better and it will extend and I would change my font and my colour of my writing .

  2. 11lm27 says:

    I like your frame e.g. silky mud

  3. 11lm27 says:

    I also like your adjectives such as nervously ran

  4. 11lm27 says:

    I wish you should improve on the description were it’s fogy whole how about trenches or trench

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