We have been learning to write an Autumnal poem.
October 13th 2016
Stepping into the forest, freezing cold wind nips and bits my face.
Above me in the canopy, the blazing sun beams down through the translucent leaves; setting the forest ablaze.
Dead leaves dance like rain drops making their way down to the ground.
Branches sigh for their lost, loved siblings.
In the distance, I can hear the water cascading elegantly down the stream.
Getting nearer and nearer to the beautiful stream.
I was colder every minute.
As the sun sets, I get ready for the new season as I’m bitter cold, walking through the dense vegetation.
Underneath my feet, I heard the crackling leaves crunch under me.
Looking at the stream, I see the small leaves surfing in the waves.
Staring down at the river it’s looks like it’s carving a path.
The new season has arrived.
I love this piece of writing because you have up-levelled your writing by choosing a variety of word choices and made your work really stand out. Next time you could extend your sentences and improve the some of the tiny mistakes you have made.