In the distance, he could still hear the birds’ eerie whistle. Finger-like vines lurked in the ebony abyss reaching out to grab him. Mossy damp walls surrounded the approach. He could still hear the slowly crashing water, taking a big breath, calmly he saw sand, so with his fingers slowly touching the cold coarse sand, he took a deep breath step-in to the ebony abyss. Inside the mysterious dark cave was scary – with cobwebs sticking around the dusty walls. Slowly apering in the tund, cobwebs cling on to shone lioke diamonds in the night sky. benith his feet rattling bones, crackeld on the floor with twigs. when he walked around the corner, indana jones focused on the shining idal.The corridor was so calm and quitter if only he could only just pick it up….
The best bit was where you said “the corridor was so calm and quiet – if only he could only pick it up.”
You used your punctuation in the right place, you used so many adverbs and adjectives.
Next time try to ensure that you use capital letter’s and don’t use the same word’s.