We have been learning to write a recount
February 17th 2012
At mid-day, when the sun was at its hottest, I heard the creaking of a wheel. Over the hill I could see a mysterious figure standing on the side of the road, next to a smouldering car wreck. He put his thumb out, I offered to take him to the nearest station but he didn’t answer. I was confused.
The mysterious man got into my car, I was really nervous; my stomach sunk; my hands trembled and shivers went down my spine. I thought about how the man was standing next to the car wreck. He must have been in the crash, or at least caused it…
As we drove around the corner the strange man looked at his watch then stared at me. I looked closely at his goggles. I saw my car crashing over the edge of the canyon. What was this? I panicked, but before I knew it I was in mid-air about to crash into the golden sand.
* It was brilliant because you explained how the masked man was so mysterious.
* You portrayed how the character felt and thought.
– Next time try to improve the descriptive words you use.