We have been learning to write a recount…
February 15th.
Despite the noise of the car, the moment lingered, although to be fair, I was used to it. Although the noise was faint I had a feeling my victim was coming. Standing in front of my last wreckage, the fumes suffocated me as another car approached. I was excited but nervous; this kind of thing makes my day! Despite the apprehensive driver clearly not being fond of the idea of letting me in his car, he still let me in… What a fool!
Anticipation rushed through my body as I checked the time so that I could know when it was time for another’s death. The bright, scorching sun was at its highest point in the sky; my watch said it was time!
Turning my head to face the driver, he stared into my opaque goggles… BANG!
I love this piece of writing because you have used amazing vocabulary and good word choices.
You have used brilliant grammar, so when someone reads your writing they will be drawn in by your writing.
I love the phrase “Anticipation rushed through my body as I checked the time so that I could know when it was time for another’s death.” because it describes how the character is feeling, you didn’t just say “I checked the time so that I could know when it was time for another’s death.”
I also liked the phrase “Standing in front of my last wreckage, the fumes suffocated me as another car approached. I was excited but nervous; this kind of thing makes my day!”